Bloggers Note: The following post contains numerous references to Mad Men. If you've never seen the show, I'm sorry for you, it's awesome. I recommend you start watching then return and enjoy this entry.
  
    To call Don Draper cool is like saying Usain Bolt is fast. It's accurate, but a momentous understatement. Mad Men's main character is the sweetest throwback since the Charger's powder blues. The archetype for an era when men were men, women had curves and everyone was drunk most of the time. The kind of hero who doesn't need an action figure, just a fedora and an Old Fashion.
    Draper's character is so much sweeter than anyone else on television it's silly to try and find a comparison. But if we expand the search into the sports world, things get interesting. Who epitomizes cool without trying too hard? Who dominates the field like Don dominates a pitch meeting? Who leaves women swooning and men wishing they were him? He's got to be out there and I'm on a mission to find him.
    For the purpose of this search we are only considering current athletes. Michael Jordan, Mickey Mantle and Joe Namath would all be perfect answers but this is a blog (the medium of the short attention span). If they're not playing now, I've already forgotten them. Without further ado, a countdown to the sports world's Don Draper.

5) Roger Federer.
    It's hard to remember a player who dominated his sport with more quiet swagger than Federer. He never sweats, never smiles, just lays back and waits for his opponent to fall apart. Silent confidence is pure Draper. You can almost imagine Roger and Don sipping whiskeys in the back corner while the rest of the board room falls apart. Also, my girlfriend says Federer is hot and she has great taste in men, so more bonus points.
    But you'll notice I said "almost imagine" Roger chilling with Don. The problem is Federer is just too dorky to fill the Draper fedora. If he wasn't a tennis god, I can imagine him designing road signs and updating his avatar. Sorry Roger, cry yourself to sleep with your mountain of major trophies, you are no Don Draper.

4) Kobe Bryant
    Kobe certainly has the icy cool that Don displays. He controls everyone around him through will-power and intimidation. I bet Kobe talks down to his teammates the way Don talks to his brother-in-law . "Lamar, we'll pretend you know how to do the right thing on your own and pass me the freakin ball." Kobe also has Don's ability to be utterly charming at one moment and then heartlessly cold the next.
    In the end, it's Kobe's evil side that eliminates him from contention. Maybe it's the Colorado scandal or maybe it's just my innate Laker hatred, but the bottom line is Draper is a flawed hero and Kobe will always be a villain. 

3) Derek Jeter
    Jeter has the throwback thing down and he lives in New York. He would fit right in during Draper's days of larger than life heroes. A "ball player" in the classic sense, sipping whiskey after the game surrounded by legions of curvaceous groupies. Don and Derek could hit the town and not come home for three days.
    The problem is, I'm not sure Jeter can back it up on the field. He's always been overrated because he had so much success early and charmed the New York media. His defensive deficiencies and failure to win a big game for the last decade are always conveniently overlooked. Jeter just doesn't dominate his profession the way Don does.

2) Tom Brady
    Brady was my first reaction when I began this search. He's got the looks, the skills, the incredibly hot wife. And he certainly fits the "women want him, guys want to be him" criteria. He also shares Don's lack of pedigree. Brady never stole anyone's identity, but Tom the back-up at Michigan is a lifetime away from Tom the Golden Boy.
    In the end Brady lacks the edge, the substance, that Don embodies. Brady's all cologne ads, fancy hair cuts and two word sound bites. You never get the sense that there's a dark side to Super Tom. Maybe he throws five touchdown passes, get's drunk on Bourbon and starts a bar fight, but I doubt it. More likely he goes home and watches game film while checking Patriot fan blogs. Brady's just a little too one dimensional to match Don's depth. 

1) Tiger Woods
    It seems only fitting that the best TV personality should be compared to the most dominant athlete in sports. Like Don, Tiger is always the coolest guy in the room. His clothes, his stare, his fist pump, are all original and all emulated by guys everywhere. Tiger doesn't try to live up to standards, he establishes them. He also makes hordes of money and has a smoking hot blond wife, both Draper characteristics.
    But what sets Tiger apart as Draper's equal isn't just his outward successes, it's his inner motivations. Both men seem motivated by a pathological need to prove they're the best at what they do. You get the feeling that if you stand in their way they'd punch you in the face. And though he always keeps a cool head when the cameras are on, friends say that in private Tiger swears like a sailor and likes to break balls. It's that dichotomy, that depth of character, that makes Draper and Woods kindred spirits.
   
    I'm not saying the comparison is perfect. Draper has an easier time epitomizing cool because he's not a real person. But for my money Tiger is the best Don Draper imitation the sports world has. I'm sure there are other athletes out there I'm leaving out, feel free to add your suggestions below.